How to deal with criticism & improve positive thinking

01.20.2017

How to deal with criticism & improve positive thinkingOur family is going through some interesting, positive changes since Christmas.

It started when my sister mentioned EFT tapping, a form of psychological acupressure based on the same energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture and which allows you to tap away limiting beliefs about yourself and others and change the way you think without the needles used in acupuncture.

The other thing she mentioned was the positive affirmations and meditative teachings of Louise Hay which I have been listening daily on Youtube since then.

Three weeks down the road, I have noticed several obvious things that improved my health and well-being: I sleep better, I feel less stressed, less anxious. I’m more focused, more aware of things and people, more confident, fearless to try new things and putting myself out of my comfort zone and then there is the little breakthroughs that happen regularly.

I had so many of these breakthroughs, that the trickiest part for me is to put everything in writing in a way that makes sense to all of you so I will start by how we deal with criticism from our parents (or what we perceive as criticism) because I’m sure I’m not the only one with a mother or father that has an opinion on everything ;-)

One of the insights came from a conversation I had with Mila…

While I was in Paris, she posted a photo on her Instagram with a spelling mistake in one of the hashtags.

Now, I’m constantly given Lily and Mila a hard time when it comes to spelling mistakes on their profile because I don’t want them to be the easy targets of negative comments. I also cringe when I read spelling or grammar mistakes made by adults on their Facebook but most people will find it difficult to give unsolicited advice to another adult. Most people…except my mum :-)

My mum regularly emails me to highlight spelling or grammar mistakes I’ve made in French.
After nineteen years in London, I admit that my French took a hit. At home, we mostly speak English and when I don’t use English, I often speak Frenglish or use words that don’t even exist in French.

Since I’m now translating more posts in French, I’m more likely to make mistakes on the basis that a lengthy post will require 4 hours of my time, plus an extra hour to translate it and re-read it a couple of times. By the time I’m finished with the post, I often have no energy to check if what I wrote in French is grammatically correct.

So Mila made a mistake…
I messaged her privately to let her know she had made a mistake and she replied: “Thanks but you do like mamie (my mum) lol”

My answer was: “not quite. I say this to you to protect you because I don’t want people accusing you of not being able to write properly”

As soon as I wrote this to Mila, I realised that it was the same for my mum. Regardless of how the Queen Mother delivers her message and often it’s a very, straightforward, direct way, it’s still come from a place of love and care so since then, I have been carefully watching how I react to things my mum said to me.

One often hears “you can’t change people, only the way you react to things” but it really hit home last week and I credit Louise Hay’s positive affirmations in helping me to shift my view of the world in a positive manner.

I have used my mum as an example but of course, it can be anyone like a sibling, partner or colleague and I hope this personal sharing will strike a chord with you and encourage you to look at things in a different way, to listen to Louise Hay or any similar podcasts and say positive affirmations on a daily basis because it has definitively improved my sense of being, stress and anxiety and I think we can all benefit from it.

If you need a “starter pack”, here are my favourite audios on youtube:

Let me know how you’re getting on! xoxo

//Photography: Karine Köng, Client: Catherine Dupon | To book a shooting please email me at [email protected]

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8 comments

  • Anna

    This is such a great read! I do loads of spelling mistakes as I am still learning English, and sometimes it’s hard to spot. I know I have to pay more attention to it. My boyfriend is often pointing it out, and I used to get angry at him for it as I thought, he was lowering my confidence. I know now, he does that, because he loves me.
    I will definitely, watch the suggested video’s. I am kind of in need for these right now. I will listen Louise tonight. Thank you.

    • BODIE and FOU Style Blog

      You’re very welcome Anna. I find that it helps me a lot. I think tapping is to clear any emotional issues we may have, unblock all stories and the affirmations are to lay a new ground and reset our mind. Let me know how you’re getting on! :-)

  • EMMA

    Love this! I’ve been practicing gratitudes everyday for a few years now and I don’t even need to write them down anymore – it’s just who I am now. To begin with I would start with three – one about my loving healthy family , a random something and always one thing about myself I am grateful for . It makes me so much happier and more confident. Filling my head with the good stuff drowns out the negative….. oh and I did spell check this before I pushed publish!!! x

    • BODIE and FOU Style Blog

      I do this too :-) In fact, to teach Mila to look at the positive side of things, every night at dinner time, each of us says a minimum of 3 good things that happened to us during the day. Sometimes they are mundane things, other times they are big things.
      Sometimes, it’s me saying to Steve that I’m grateful he did the shopping but just doing this, shows us that we appreciate what the other person does for us and I feel it has also improved our communication and relationships + Mila loves it!

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  • Maria

    http://hagelingriefrecovery.com

    Amazing woman – EFT tapping and life crisis coach –

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